Author: Kassandra Krossing

Backing singer and player of Pravda (the Organ of Truth) for Socialist R&B band Thee Faction.

October Q&A

Here are some pertinent answers to some of the probing questions we’ve been asked so far this month …

Q. When can we get our sticky mitts on a copy of long-awaited album ‘Thee Faction at Ebbw Vale’?

A. Very soon indeed! Keep an eye on our Facebook and Twitter feeds for updates, and make sure you’ve subscribed your email address to this blog.

Q. When can we next see you play?

A. Next confirmed London date is 18th December 2010 (not 2011 – thanks Dee Spatches) – Uncle Bob’s Wedding Reception Reunion, Upstairs at the Relentless Garage. Get your tickets early! From here! http://www.meanfiddler.com/listings/onsale-now/3662/uncle-bob

Our Scottish friends will have less long to wait, as we’ll be playing The 13th Note in Glasgow on December 5th – details to follow.

Q. December? That’s ages! What are you doing in the meantime?

A. Planning, comrade, and striving. Ever striving. Beautiful new works to be announced soon.

Q. Is it true that Kassandra Krossing is knocked up, and Babyface is the Babydaddy? Or has she just been sampling a little too much of her own Kommunist Kitchen produce?

A. Mind your own business.

Q. I’ve recently started dating a pretty girl, only I have a terrible suspicion she might be a Tory. I caught her moaning about travel delays during the recent tube strike, and she’s started wearing her hair like Sam Cam. Should I dump her?

A. You know what Billy Brentford has to say on this matter …

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Gender-inclusive Carrot Cake

Carrot Cake

You may have seen my recent post about my distaste for women in the media who reinforce phallocentric gender stereotypes through an affected over-excitement for cakes. That is of course not to say that I have anything against cakes per se: indeed, the process of lovingly labouring to create, bake and decorate a cake to be enjoyed by the masses is at the heart of any good Marxist’s home economy. All members of Thee Faction enjoy their cake-making, and Babyface in particular has been described as a bit of a master baker in his time. It just so happens, that on this occasion, the female of the band made this lovely carrot cake, and Babyface did the washing up.

Ingredients 1

  • 12½ oz carrots, grated
  • 2 oz pecans, chopped
  • 4 oz self-raising wholemeal flour
  • 4 oz plain wholemeal flour
  • 3 teaspoons of cinnamon
  • 2 teaspoons ground ginger
  • 1 teaspoon nutmeg
  • 1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
  • 8 fl oz vegetable oil
  • 6 oz soft brown sugar
  • 4 eggs
  • 2 tablespoons golden syrup

For the icing:

  • 7 oz mascapone cheese
  • 2 oz sifted icing sugar
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla essence
  • decorations of your choice

These quantities make a 9” round cake.

  • Sieve together the self-raising flour and the plain flour with the cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, and bicarbonate of soda. (Tip the bran bits left in the sieve into the mixture.)
  • In a separate bowl, whisk together the oil, sugar, eggs, and syrup. (Heat the spoon first and the syrup will slide off easily.
  • Add this to the dry ingredients and mix until it’s nice and smooth. Stir in the carrots and pecans.
  • Tip the mixture into a greased, lined tin and cook at 160oC for an hour, or until cooked.
  • For the topping, mix the mascapone, icing sugar, and vanilla essence until smooth.
  • Allow the cake to cool and then add the topping. Decorate in a manner condusive to equality for all. Here, I’ve chosen halved pecans.

1 Loathe as I am to dictate measurements, accuracy of proportion is of course key to the success of a good cake. In this case, I have reclaimed ‘Imperial’ measurements from the Imperialist classes for the use of this system-bashing cake.

Ebbw Vale Lamb One-Pot Kurry

kurry

Multi-pot curries are bourgeois. Free your meal from an elitist saucepan hegemony, and save time on washing up. Win-win.

Ingredients

  • Onions, chopped
  • Garlic, crushed
  • Chillis, chopped
  • Garam Masala
  • Chilli powder
  • Crushed chillis
  • Ground cumin
  • Cardamom pods
  • Curry powder
  • Chestnut mushrooms, halved
  • Leftover roast shoulder of Ebbw Vale lamb, diced
  • Basmati rice
  • Canned tomatoes
  • Mango chutney
  • Stock, preferably homemade from the bones of the lamb
  • Measurements: each according to their need.
    Serves: the people.

  • Take one large heavy-based pot and prepare it for some thoroughly dignified labour.
  • Fry the onion, garlic, and chilli in plenty of oil, until the onion is translucent.
  • Add the powders and the mushrooms, and fry some more, until the air of your kitchen is thick with spicy fog.
  • Add the lamb and the rice, and stir vigorously. Add the tomatoes, chutney and stock.
  • Put a lid on the pan, and leave to simmer, stirring occasionally, until the rice is cooked, or the proletariat unites and throws off the yoke of the bourgeoisie – whichever comes first.
  • When ‘Getting By on Charm Alone’ becomes an ambition

    Cakes of Capitalism

    I’ve just seen this on the Domestic Sluttery blog, and feel compelled to rant a little. For those who can’t be bothered to click on the link, allow me to summise:

    “Girls love homewear and wine and buying stuff to impress other girls, and aren’t boys smelly, eh girls? Fluff! Shop! BUY!!!”

    This post is written by an adult woman who apparently feels compelled to encourage her fellow adult women to join her in effecting an intellectually-inferior gender stereotype.

    And you just know that the woman who wrote this deliberately vapid piece of dross has more than likely had the benefit of a good education and, deep down, knows better than this.

    This is yet another horrific post in a blog which describes itself as ‘the home and lifestyle blog for for women who have better things to do’. One can but imagine what these ‘better things’ are … perhaps reading Grazia while watching Sex in the City, buying overpriced fluff on the internet, drinking chardonnay, gorging themselves on chocolate, stenciling flowers on their shoes, and wondering why they are not paid the same as their male colleagues. Multi-tasking – us girls are good at that, eh girls?

    May I suggest to my sisters at the charmingly-named Domestic Sluttery blog that they might want to take a break from using their Oxbridge educations to write about lipsticks shaped like cupcakes, and have a read of Frederick Engels’ The Origins of the Family.

    I’m off back to the Kitchen to whip up some flapjacks for the boys.

    KK

    The Frittata of Social Inclusion

    Frittata

    The members of Thee Faction have differing views on many things: the Situationist International; Entryism; and the eating of flesh. Dai Nasty and Billy Brentford are both strident vegetarians who would not dream of harming their fellow creatures, whereas the rest of us feel no shame in rewarding our hard-working bodies with succulent meals of tasty free-range meat.

    This frittata brings us together on this pertinent issue, as it can be prepared with or without bacon, ensuring that everyone is included.

    Ingredients

  • Chopped onions
  • Chopped celery
  • Crushed garlic
  • Chopped chillis
  • Sliced bacon (optional)
  • Chopped red pepper
  • Sliced mushrooms
  • Fresh parsley
  • Pre-boiled new potatoes
  • Eggs beaten with a splash of water
  • Raw spinach
  • Measurements: each according to their need.
    Serves: the people.

  • In a heavy-based, oven-proof frying pan, fry the onions, celery, garlic, chilli, and (if using) bacon, for a little while.
  • Add the pepper, mushroom, and parsley, and fry some more.
  • Remove from the heat and add the potatoes, eggs and spinach. Stir, shake, or even flip the pan – which ever way you feel most appropriately ensures a healthy diversity within your pan.
  • Place the pan in a pre-heated oven at around 180C or mark 5 for around 25 minutes, or until the egg is properly set and the top of the frittata nicely browned.
  • Serve with a socially-inclusive salad.
  • Kassandra’s Kommunist Kitchen: Don Quixiovope’s Burritos

    Don Quixiovope fought alongside Che Guevara and Regis Debray in Bolivia, and was famed for running the chuck wagon of the revolution. Even when surrounded by the CIA and their traitorous Bolivian lackeys, Don Q was serving up the finest central and south American foodstuffs. Here’s one of his best.

    Ingredients
    Chopped onions
    Crushed garlic
    Chopped chillis
    Chopped celery
    Hot chilli powder
    Dried crushed chillis
    Cumin powder
    Mixed herbs
    Mustard powder
    Lean minced beef
    Halved mushrooms
    Canned chopped tomatoes
    Sugar
    Worcestershire sauce
    Kidney beans
    Flour tortillas
    Grated mozzerella

    Measurements: each according to their need.
    Serves: the people.

  • Fry the onion, garlic, chilli and celery on a low heat until soft and translucent.
  • Add the herbs and spices, then the beef and mushrooms. Fry until brown.
  • Add the tomatoes, sugar, Worcestershire sauce and kidney beans. Simmer until it has the consistency of the blood of the bourgeoisie.
  • Spoon into tortillas and roll them up (no licking of edges required). Lay them side by side in an ovenproof dish, and cover liberally with cheese.
  • Brown under a medium grill until ready. Serve with sour cream, guacamole, and your salsa of choice. Enjoy.
  • Kassandra’s Kommunist Kitchen: Plum and Summer Fruit Krumble

    Plum Krumble

    What better way to show solidarity with our fairtrade fruit-farming brothers and sisters than by smothering the plummy fruits of their labour with a “liberal” layer of crumbley goodness.

    Ingredients
    Plums, halved and stones removed
    Sugar
    Mixed summer fruit (blackberries, blueberries, strawberries etc)
    Flour
    Butter
    Muesli (such as, but not limited to, Dorset Cereals’ ‘Berries and Cherries’)
    More sugar
    Cinnamon
    Ground ginger

    Measurements: each according to their need.
    Serves: the people.

  • Pre-heat the oven to 180C or gas mark 4.
  • Add the fruit to a medium-depth dish and sprinkle a nice heap of sugar over it.
  • Bake for 20 minutes, and set aside to cool.
  • Increase the oven temperature to 200C or gas mark 6
  • Rub the butter and flour together in a mixing bowl.
  • Add the muesli, cinnamon, ginger and sugar to the mixture. Get your hands right in there and mix them up. Don’t even think about putting them in a blender – blenders are the kitchen utensils of the bourgeois.
  • Pile your krumble over your fruit mixture and bake that beauty for 15 minutes.
  • Serve with custard or vanilla ice-cream and share widely.