Brothers, Sisters, we don’t need this fascist Gove thing

The Guild hate many things. Capitalism, War, Mumford & Sons – all the things you’d expect. But we admire competence in our enemies: Michael MacIntyre is good at pointing out funny things about cupboard contents, Denis and Margaret Thatcher’s self-actualisation, whoever turned the Tory logo into a tree, that kind of thing.

But is there a bigger joke than Education Secretary Michael Gove? He’s a wistful Tory, a man setting about destroying the ambitions of the working class and a liar. So tick off those boring reasons to dislike him. But somewhat surprising, and encouraging (and so God-damn likeable about him) is that he is just so..RUBBISH.

Today he was embarrassed into a U-turn and now won’t scrap Labour’s flagship school sports programme. (Cameron is turning on the lights at the Olympic site today so thus avoids that bit of eggy-face).

Gove said he would restore some of the £162 million of funding for a nationwide network of PE teachers, “School Sports Partnerships”, instead of scrapping it altogether. Thee Faction applaud this, although with the usual TF caveat about Tory cuts, that they’ve probably got away with what they wanted in the first place by going in high and negotiating.

But this volte-face on the project was so easy for Gove’s Shadow Andy Burnham to take the piss out of. Gove’s argument was so shit all Burnham had to do was write a one-page email to the statistics “watchdog” (Sir Michael Scholar, the chair of the UK Statistics Authority).

The Department for Education (DfE) sheepishly admitted that the funding is disappearing altogether, and not being subsumed into the general schools budget, as had been previously claimed.

The £162m Gove claimed was being “saved” is not being added to the overall budgets of schools in England. That contradicts previous government statements that the money was no longer going to be ring-fenced, but would still be available for head-teachers to spend on sport or other priorities.

Burnham said: “Michael Gove has used misleading statistics and sought to imply that funding is simply being devolved to head teachers. But the truth is that school sport has been earmarked for severe cuts. Olympic athletes, head teachers and hundreds of thousands of young people have condemned this move – does he really think he knows better than them?”

When Gove was asked by Andrew Marr on his BBC television show in November if the sport money was going, he replied that it wasn’t, before adding: “We’re increasing spending on education overall, so head-teachers can decide on their own priorities.” LIE.

Gove told Marr that “we haven’t seen the increase in the number of people playing competitive sport”. That, Burnham said, is disproved by the school sport survey earlier this year, which found that 27% more boys and 60% more girls now take part in interschool competitive sport than in 2006.

The withdrawal of the £162m means that heads will have to pay for PE and sporting activities out of their usual budgets. Gove admitted to the Commons education select committee yesterday that schools would not be receiving a real-terms increase in their budgets, as inflation is higher than had been forecast.

Gove and the Tories have a sickening Ladybird-book sentimental view of teaching based on their own private and grammar schools, which is based more on preaching than teaching.

Gove wants to give Christians, rich locals and the market freedom from the national curriculum and freedom from national pay and conditions for staff.

Thus your taxes will be handed over from Whitehall to self-selecting groups to manage privately. Gove, naturally, hasn’t said how he will choose between competing bids from the same locality as this scheme is so full of holes and totally impractical. What if the “new providers” get bored after their kids have gone through their school?

Bidders will rent or purchase a suitable site then hire a private contractor of educational services to do the teaching. So to increase profits these companies will employ fewer qualified teachers and use computer programmes run by classroom assistants.

The new provider will also need to buy in specialist services. Using YOUR MONEY. Human resource managers, lawyers, architects, builders, payroll and accountants will charge handsomely and divert even more money away from teaching. What a waste of time. A few will be set up at a cost of millions to the tax payer, a few hundred rich kids will be educated. What a load of CRAP. Gove thinks you’re STUPID.

In October 2009 the Tories set up the New Schools Network (NSN) to import such fucking quack ideas. The completely inexperienced Rachel Wolf is NSN’s director. Her priority is to institute “competitive school provision” in every area.NSN claims to have drummed up a number of takers. That prick Toby Young is leading the campaign to set up a west London “free school”. He claims that his 500-strong group of supporters want a “comprehensive grammar school” in their W3 postcode.

There will be a wave of protest to stop Tory education secretary Michael Gove from fucking up our schools. Support this.

Gove’s scrapping of more than 700 school rebuilding projects across England, and the fiasco that followed, show two things.

First, the Tories are out to steal everything they can from working class people and their children.

And second, they have such disdain for you that they can’t even be bothered to be accurate about their attacks.

The Tories are coming for your job, your pension, your hospital and your services.

We have a government of millionaires that is hellbent on attacking our most basic services. But it is so clumsy it’s quickly enraging millions of people who have the potential to bring it down.

If Gove is forced out, it could be the start of driving the Government back over all the other attacks.



  1. “the Tories have a sickening Ladybird-book sentimental view of teaching based on their own private and grammar schools, which is based more on preaching than teaching”



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