It’s Thee Faction wot won it

As you know, we’ve been campaigning hard for Ed Miliband, and tonight all our hard work came off. He’s the new Pope of the Workers. He’s our next Prime Minister. He’s going to deliver the means of production into the hands of the British working class. Us. This is tremendous news.

Ed Balls was brilliant, beginning to end. His ability to hate Tories with every fibre of his body, and to taunt them until they make endless mistakes (are you listening Michael Gove?) endears him to Thee Faction enormously. We love Balls. We know he couldn’t win an election as leader of the Labour Party, but we love him. So we will be urging Ed Miliband to give him the Exchequer brief, handing him the chance to make Gideon Osborne’s life a misery until the next election.

Balls and Miliband are going to deliver us from evil. But only the class as a whole can deliver socialism. That’s what we’ve got to start working on, comrades.

Incidentally, though we have always been happy to campaign for Ed Miliband, he’s never been afraid of returning the favour. See the photo above? Checked out the third badge down on his left lapel? If you can’t quite make out what it says, here is it blown up ————————>

Yup, it’s a vintage Thee Faction badge, from 1984. It was probably his dad’s. Ralph loved his Thee Faction.

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