Gender-inclusive Carrot Cake

Carrot Cake

You may have seen my recent post about my distaste for women in the media who reinforce phallocentric gender stereotypes through an affected over-excitement for cakes. That is of course not to say that I have anything against cakes per se: indeed, the process of lovingly labouring to create, bake and decorate a cake to be enjoyed by the masses is at the heart of any good Marxist’s home economy. All members of Thee Faction enjoy their cake-making, and Babyface in particular has been described as a bit of a master baker in his time. It just so happens, that on this occasion, the female of the band made this lovely carrot cake, and Babyface did the washing up.

Ingredients 1

  • 12½ oz carrots, grated
  • 2 oz pecans, chopped
  • 4 oz self-raising wholemeal flour
  • 4 oz plain wholemeal flour
  • 3 teaspoons of cinnamon
  • 2 teaspoons ground ginger
  • 1 teaspoon nutmeg
  • 1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
  • 8 fl oz vegetable oil
  • 6 oz soft brown sugar
  • 4 eggs
  • 2 tablespoons golden syrup

For the icing:

  • 7 oz mascapone cheese
  • 2 oz sifted icing sugar
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla essence
  • decorations of your choice

These quantities make a 9” round cake.

  • Sieve together the self-raising flour and the plain flour with the cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, and bicarbonate of soda. (Tip the bran bits left in the sieve into the mixture.)
  • In a separate bowl, whisk together the oil, sugar, eggs, and syrup. (Heat the spoon first and the syrup will slide off easily.
  • Add this to the dry ingredients and mix until it’s nice and smooth. Stir in the carrots and pecans.
  • Tip the mixture into a greased, lined tin and cook at 160oC for an hour, or until cooked.
  • For the topping, mix the mascapone, icing sugar, and vanilla essence until smooth.
  • Allow the cake to cool and then add the topping. Decorate in a manner condusive to equality for all. Here, I’ve chosen halved pecans.

1 Loathe as I am to dictate measurements, accuracy of proportion is of course key to the success of a good cake. In this case, I have reclaimed ‘Imperial’ measurements from the Imperialist classes for the use of this system-bashing cake.



  1. Loving the carrot cake. The same principle of lovingly labouring to create food to be enjoyed by the masses can be applied to the growing of the humble carrot. The carrot has a long and fascinating history from the dark ages to enlightenment when 17th century herbalists recommended carrots and their seeds for a wide variety of ailments. After many years as a low class vegetable, mainly used for animal fodder, carrots came of age during the food scarcity of the two World Wars, when people had to be more inventive with fewer resources.

    Carrots for all!


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